I’m putting together a set list for tomorrow, an open mic I attend regularly, chock full of great people and a wonderfully generous cafe owner who lets us completely take over her shop on Sunday afternoons.  I always make it a point to play songs that have meaning to me, whether they’re originals or covers, and the joke is I always play with my eyes closed to feel the music (in actuality, it’s only a matter of time before I chip a tooth on the mic - at that point I may need to open my eyes a bit more).  I chose a song for tomorrow which I often play at home, but have never performed as I haven’t known how to express why it’s so personal to me, which I’ll try to do now.

The song in question is Marc Cohn’s “Walking in Memphis”, an 80’s piano power ballad.  Although I do love the instrumentation, that isn’t the reason this song reaches me.  Before I can explain that, I need to provide a little backstory…

Many years ago, I worked on the engineering team for a medical robotics company.  My role was to to be the “hands on” when the robots needed repair, and so I would travel - often flying 2-3 times a week - internationally to provide root/cause analysis and repair on site if I could.  For the first year, it was a lot of fun - the novelty of seeing so many new places all within a reimbursable expense account.  After a while, though, it became less fun.  I would regularly wake up in a hotel not knowing what city I was in, or surprised that I wasn’t the only one there, and I had no real connection to anyone anymore as I went week after week in a constant state of jet lag and indifference.  I completely understood the bleak reality told by the Narrator in Fight Club!  A social life was completely impossible, and the weekend I tried as best as I could to spend time with the kids while also doing everything I could to take care of the house before leaving again on Monday or Tuesday.  I was lost.  I was SO lost.

I remember one night after working all day in Las Vegas, I was wandering the strip alone, and I was singing that song in my head, the similarities striking hard.  The last verse:

“Muriel plays piano every Friday at the Hollywood

They brought me down to see her and she asked me if I would

Do a little number and I sang with all my might

She said ‘Tell me, are you a Christian, child?’

And I said, ‘Ma’am, I am, tonight!’”

While the song is taking you through the man’s story, it’s also illustrating the loneliness and desperation he’s feeling for a connection to whatever it is he’s missing, whether that’s a person, a place, God - something.  I’ve been there.  I’ve felt that.  And so I feel, in the song, “are you a Christian”, the answer “Ma’am I am, tonight!” as the pinnacle of the story.  He may not have been before, but he’s so lost and hopeless, he has nowhere else to turn, and decides to leave his hurt, pain, loneliness, failure, self, pride - everything that he is - leave it behind, and say “Jesus is my only chance of getting through this”.  I’ve been there.  I’ve felt that.  When I was at that low, low point, this song reminded me there was a rung on the bottom of the ladder to get out of that pit.

That’s why this song is so personal to me, why I love it so much, and an anecdote of yet another time Jesus has carried me when I needed it.

Happy Easter, y’all

Ryan